我常常改气象、气候研究的文章。今天分析一篇这方面的摘要。
分析的目的是帮助青椒提高科技英语写作水平。我是针对摘要，不针对作者。
Mechanism for the formation of the January 2013 heavy haze pollution episode over central and eastern China
http://engine.scichina.com/publisher/scp/journal/SCES/57/1/10.1007/s11430-013-4773-4?slug=abstract
Abstract
[1] In January 2013, a long-lasting episode of severe haze occurred in central and eastern China, and it attracted attention from all sectors of society.
评论：and后面的it可以去掉。
[2] The process and evolution of haze pollution episodes were observed by the "Forming Mechanism and Control Strategies of Haze in China" group using an intensive aerosol and trace gases campaign that simultaneously obtained data at 11 ground-based observing sites in the CARE-China network.
评论：太长了。可以用两句话。另外，这里的episodes与［1］的episode有矛盾。
[3] The characteristics and formation mechanism of haze pollution episodes were discussed.
评论：应该是these haze pollution episodes
[4] Five haze pollution episodes were identified in the Beijing-Tianjin-Hebei (Jing-Jin-Ji) area; the two most severe episodes occurred during 9-15 January and 25-31 January.
评论：area后面可以加during the campaign
[5] During these two haze pollution episodes, the maximum hourly PM2.5 mass concentrations in Beijing were 680 and 530 μg m-3, respectively.
评论：reached may be better than “were”
[6] The process and evolution of haze pollution episodes in other major cities in the Jing-Jin-Ji area, such as Shijiazhuang and Tianjin were almost the same as those observed in Beijing.
评论：应该是these haze pollution episodes。Were前面需要加逗号。用almost the same不太合适。可以用very similar
[7] The external cause of the severe haze episodes was the unusual atmospheric circulation, the depression of strong cold air activities and the very unfavorable dispersion due to geographical and meteorological conditions.
评论：应该是The external causes of the severe haze episodes were
[8] However, the internal cause was the quick secondary transformation of primary gaseous pollutants to secondary aerosols, which contributed to the "explosive growth" and "sustained growth" of PM2.5.
评论：删however
[9] Particularly, the abnormally high amount of nitric oxide (NOx) in the haze episodes, produced by fossil fuel combustion and vehicle emissions, played a direct or indirect role in the quick secondary transformation of coal-burning sulphur dioxide (SO2) to sulphate aerosols.
[10] Furthermore, gaseous pollutants were transformed into secondary aerosols through heterogeneous reactions on the surface of fine particles, which can change the particle"s size and chemical composition.
评论：我会用change the particles’ sizes and chemical compositions.
[11] Consequently, the proportion of secondary inorganic ions, such as sulphate and nitrate, gradually increased, which enhances particle hygroscopicity and thereby accelerating formation of the haze pollution.
评论：enhanced particle hygroscopicity and thereby accelerated the
如果你想提高科技英语写作能力，请跟我来...
http://blog.sciencenet.cn/blog-306792-1146577.html
