标题：Three Lessons Children Need to Learn About Candy
source：psychologytoday丨by Dina Rose Ph.D.
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Now that school—and school sports— are in full swing, we"ve entered peak period for food trophies. You know what I mean, the cupcake—or, just as likely, the sack of candy—kids "earn" by winning some sort of competitition.
Sometimes kids "earn" their prizes just for showing up. (And, let"s face it, kids show up a lot.) So food trophies are tricky.
One mom summed up her dilemma like this:
It doesn"t seem fair to take away my son"s prize. After all, he earned it.
I don"t want him to eat so much candy.
This mother solved the situation with a stealth attack. Every night after her son went to bed, she snuck into the kitchen and threw out some of the stash.
So here"s the question: Is it fair for parents to secretly discard their kids" candy?
Forget the fact, just for a moment, that it"s a shame that competition organizers (and others) often decide to use sweets as a prize.
And, forget too, that this is a variation of the problem every parent experiences on Halloween.
We"re talking about the concept of fair here.
I agree with this mother that it wouldn"t be fair for her to take away the prize her son earned for doing something fabulous. But why does she think it is fair to discard her son"s candy prize surreptitiously?
I suspect it"s because she hasn"t thought about her secret solution in quite this way. Rather, she has only thought about her actions as a practical solution to a perpelexing problem.
And I get it. 1) Candy ain"t broccoli. 2) Kids who gorge on candy can be— how shall I put this nicely?—pesky.
But think about what sneaky parenting teaches kids about fairness. It"s OK to do whatever you want as long as your motives are good... and you don"t get caught?
The solution to solving the food trophy dilemma is to rethink the idea of fair.
When it comes to eating, fair isn"t necessarily eating what—or how much—everyone else is eating. Fair also isn"t always eating however much you happen to have in your hand. Fair is eating the amount that"s right for you—at a particular time.
It"s fair when big kids get a larger glass of chocolate milk then small kids because milk size ought to bear some relation to tummy size.
It"s fair when one child gets a cookie when another child doesn"t, if the first child hasn"t had any sweets or treats today and the other one just came from a party.
depositphotos
Source: depositphotos
In this case, it is definitely fair to let kids keep their candy. After all, it"s their prize. It might not be fair, however, to let them eat the candy right away. And, depending on the size of the trophy, it"s probably not fair to let kids power down their prize in one sitting.
I know it feels like letting children keep their candy can only lead to problems. But teaching children the wrong idea about what"s fair can lead to bad eating habits. And reducing conflict by performing some midnight magic is a short-term solution to a long-term problem.
Three Lessons about Candy that All Children Need to Learn
It"s OK to have one or two small pieces of candy every day. However...
If you eat candy every day you will use up your sweets and treats budget. That means...
You have to make choices. You can"t eat candy and cupcakes every day. You also can"t eat candy and chips, candy and cookies, or even candy and chocolate milk every day.
Don"t think you can trust your kids to make the right decisions in the face of all those sweets? Consider this: Abundance isn"t really the problem.
Rather, the problem parents face when their kids encounter candy comes from not teaching children to cope with the candy themselves.
~Changing the conversation from nutrition to habits.~
